I almost cannot believe I am writing a post about another DNF. When I got up off the pavement yesterday I actually started to laugh in disbelief. There is no way that just happened… I'll rewind a bit and share some details of the line of events that lead me to this point.
(I'm the one on my butt 5m ahead of my bike ;)2 weeks ago in Mooloolaba I had my first crash since 2004 and the first thing that went through my mind was "Will I be ok for Sydney?" When I saw my doctor a few days later he was amazed at my rapid recovery. "Someone really wants you to race in Sydney" were his words to be exact. Apparently someone wanted me to START in Sydney.
Looking at my Mooloolaba crash in a more positive light, the time off gave me an opportunity to recovery from a few solid months of training and coming into Sydney I was feeling fresh and snappy and ready to go. I was relaxed at the start and poised to show off my hard work. Ranked 65 out of 66 I was a bit nervous about my position on the pontoon. Luckily I had a fairly clean start and was headed straight toward the first buoy in good position. Unfortunately, as we rounded the first buoy everyone from the left side came over top of me and chaos began. I am working on holding my line and being a bit more aggressive when things start to get rough and I felt like I did a good job of avoiding the fighting without losing time and positions. But when I looked up and saw a sea of white in front of me I thought I was having a bad swim yet AGAIN. When I exited the first lap I noticed I was beside Paula and that there weren't actually that many people in front of us. I had a much better 2nd lap and made up a few positions, I was delighted to see my bud Dannie Ryf beside me because I knew if I started the bike with her I would be safe.
When I hopped on my bike I saw names like Norden, Luxford, Ryf, and Jenkins, almost all of the strongest cyclists of the sport and breathed a sigh of relief. We caught up to the leaders quite painlessly. I was so happy to finally be comfortable in the lead pack! The course was really dangerous and it was a bit chaotic to say the least. I avoided a few close calls and was making an effort to stay near the front without pulling more than my share. Coming down the hill leading into the roundabout everyone was jockeying for position. I always tried to stay on the outside so I would have somewhere to go if anything were to happen. I was avoiding the sketchier riders and was in a solid position when the rider in front of me, Helen Jenkins yelled "Woah!" and the next thing I knew she was on the ground and I had only 1/2 a second to react. With the barriers on one side and the rest of the pack on the other, I didn't really have many options. I tried to jump over her but she was still tumbling with her bike in the air and I went flying over the handle bars. I somehow ended up with a big chain ring cut on my upper/inner thigh on my left side….not sure how that happened, perhaps Helen's tumbling bike? I also had a tyre mark down the front of my face, over my nose down onto my neck with chain grease under my chin. Also unsure how that happened. I cut my elbow (again) pretty good and there was a fair amount of blood but I honestly didn't feel any pain like I did 2 weeks ago. My first reaction was to get back up and hop on my bike. I was trying to get my chain back on by switching gears but my shifter was broken. I then tried to do it with my hands but it was jammed. As all the packs went by and my chain refused to budge I finally realized it was over. At this point I began to laugh. Unbelievable. I watched as the other girls rode away and Sarah Groff and myself were taken off the course.
Anger is not an emotion I experience very often but I have to say, I don't think I've ever been so angry in my life. I have put in so much work over the years, especially this year and I just can't seem to express it. I know you make your own luck but seriously…this is getting a bit much!
I got myself cleaned up at the medical tent and my spirits lifted thanks to our physiologist, John and Kelly, a lovely Aussie junior who hung around with me. I had a great chat with my dad on the phone from the side of the road. He always has the right thing to say. I was not as injured as I was after Mooloolaba and was able to go home and shower and change in time to watch the mens race. Unfortunately for the men, rain showers were added to the already dangerous course. There were crashes left, right and centre. The crowd was loving it! As my friend Rares says "It's like Nascar without the fire!" …Glad we could provide some amusement ;) Javi Gomez was an inspiration, crashing and bridging back to the group twice and still came away with the win.
During the men's race I talked to my coach, Craig on the phone and he advised me to go for a little jog. I was feeling more motivated than ever after this crash and was really excited about this jog for some reason. As soon as the men finished I ran home to the hotel in my Birkenstocks and jeans, quickly changed into my run gear and headed out the door. I started out jogging towards the course. I noticed that I felt really really good. This made me angry thinking about how I missed out on one "those days," the kind that don't come around often. The more angry I got the harder I began to run. By this time it was pouring rain. I didn't have a watch or anything, my shorts were too big and falling down as they got heavy in the rain haha. I just started running laps of the course as the volunteers took everything down. I ran all 4 laps for the full 10k building to a near sprint. I got a little lost on the way home and jogged it in feeling much better. I needed that. Part of me was angry about how good I felt, feeling like I got robbed and getting frustrated about the fact that so much of our result can depend on other people in our sport. I felt cheated and started to think about the "why me?" type thing.
BUT when I look at the big picture there was a lot of positives. I finally got the monkey off my back in the swim, from an awful start position at that. I felt strong on the bike, I did everything right. I know where my running is at and I now know I can still get myself in the position I need to to set myself up for the podium. The first 1/3 of the race is the hardest and most important and I finally nailed it. So in that respect, I'm happy. Another positive thing to take away from this experience is my elevated level of motivation. I've never been so hungry in my life! I have done the work, everything is there…I just want to get out there and run again! And I think that will be sooner than later! I am trying to get organized to fly to Ishigaki, Japan this wednesday for the World Cup race this weekend. I'm going to run off the bike if it kills me! So fingers crossed that everything works out for that. So far my luck hasn't showed any signs of turning, I started a ride and immediately flatted and it began to rain while I changed it. I proceeded to have 2 more flats...now I think I may curl up in a ball on the couch...maybe I should buy myself a bubble. Obviously that's a joke, I'm off for acupuncture and an attempt at swimming! Hopefully with 2 arms :)
More photos coming!
