The Privilege of Hardship

If you make it through enough setbacks you start to actually appreciate them. That sounds odd doesn’t it? I'm appreciative of things going wrong. At first it sounds crazy, but how boring would life be if you just coasted along without any challenges? Without learning about who you really are through the process of going through the darker times. Without feeling the sense of elation when you reach even a small stepping stone. Something you maybe used to take for granted is now a great accomplishment or luxury. Something as simple as walking without pain. It forces you to be grateful for the small things. It forces you to realize who your true friends are and what is truly important to you.

I for one am thankful for what I’ve been through. The lessons I’ve learned, the support I’ve been given and relationships made. The love I’ve gained for my sport and my lifestyle. I’m grateful for all of it! Yes, it’s been hard, especially this year. Not knowing what’s wrong is a scary thing. It still is. But I know how good it's going to feel when I'm healthy again!

This season was one of my more frustrating, challenging seasons. This infection is still an ongoing issue. Though I started to perform better toward the end of the season, moving from a 34th to a 22nd to a 10th place performance in WTS racing, the setbacks continued.

I was struggling with a bit of plantar fasciitis leading into the race in Edmonton but after a week off running I decided I would be fine to race. In normal circumstances I probably would have been. But, a bout of freak weather came through the weekend of the race and we raced in 6C with pelting rain and wind. 6C and rain is bad enough without rocketing down a highway at 50km/hr soaking wet in a swimsuit! When I took my feet out of my shoes before T2 they were solid white. No blood in my feet whatsoever. I couldn’t feel anything from my thighs down and once I started running I was motivated by the fact that I was picking girls off one by one. I made my way up to 6th place, having ridden between the first and second packs with my friend Ashleigh Gentle. This was very motivating and that focus combined with the numbness made me forget about my nagging foot injury. That is until the last 600m where suddenly I felt a pop. I considered pulling out with less than 600m to go. But I was in 6th place!! By far my best performance of the year. I brought my right leg around extra quick with each stride until the finish. I lost a few places in that time and crossed the line still in 10th place. At this point I was still on a heavy dose of antibiotics and this performance was a surprise to me!

The only problem was that I couldn’t walk after the race. I had to drag myself along the counter in the kitchen every morning. How was I going to race the grand final in less than 2 weeks?! I tried my very best and got a lot of work done by my trusty chiropractor Jamie Grimes and although he helped me a lot and got me walking again, running a fast 10k is a whole other level and it just wasn't realistic.

During that time my body also responded poorly to the scheduled change in antibiotic dosage and most of my infection symptoms returned. Besides that, I also found out that I was being forced to leave my coach due to politics in Australia. Talk about a demoralizing week or two!

Lucky for me, my night in shining armor came to the rescue once again. Of course, I’m talking about Red Bull! I was invited to a high performance camp called Performing Under Pressure about a week after the final race of the year. They basically put us under different types of stress and watched our body respond. They gave us tools and techniques for coping which helped a ton! We learned that our “hardware” is both trained and genetically given to us, basically, we’ve got that down! But the software or “upstairs” is something that can also be trained and there’s a world of possibilities available for us, just waiting for us to utilize! Untapped potential is a very exciting thing! I left that camp with a new outlook, new friendships and diminished anxiety about the unknowns in my near future. It couldn’t have been timed better!

Since then, I’ve been getting daily physio and gym training at Red Bull HQ in Santa Monica. A recent MRI showed that I still have a partial tear in my plantar fascia so I'm taking my time there. I've got some pretty poor test results back regarding my bacterial infection so that's a work in progress. But I've got an amazing new doctor who has some big plans! It's so crazy to think 10 minutes in that water in Stockholm and I'm still here. I'm so grateful to have Red Bull to put my mind at ease knowing I'm working with the best of the best!

It can't be all work though and I've had a ton of fun times including a weekend in Vegas for Air Race and birthday parties.